“There’s probably going to be a clean divide between life as an artist before and after #patreon.” – The artist in question.
AT a recent mystical workshop, I was given my Atlantean Tribal number by Thoth, The Egyptian God of Magic and the Arts. That day changed everything.
The number 10 signifies an all or nothing energy archetype, in Tarot and numerology, 10 is the number of perfection, completion and wholeness. One and zero. The end of one phase and the start of another, One being initiatory, of leadership, seeding. Zero being the state of infinite potential, the element of The Fool in Tarot.
I asked the principal channeler if i’m more one than zero, for I have a tendency to oscillate between ‘doing nothing’ rather than everything. It’s a cycle i’ve been accustomed to. She asked for any singular number in my birth date. I replied, “Nine. September, the month of my birth.””Nine is the number of Buddhahood, you will lean more towards working for humanity, for The All, for Nine is the number of serving humankind. You hold all of them inside you.”
Such an idea didn’t quite faze me. I think it’s been lurking in my nature since I was a kid. Withdrawing inside all the time, I found there was this whole world inside me. It is in there where i got lost and still do whenever I need to ‘oscillate’ between the outside and the in.
These days, I read Tarot for strangers at a bar twice a week. I Make art for the masses to see, engage with, get freaked out by. I hope to instil some kind of awe, wonder, a different perspective, a righteous repulsion and magical resonance, among other things, and this, I think, brings me to why i’m on Patreon.
Life before patreon was about having space and time to draw, paint, consider visual options, take photos, edit, edit , edit in photoshop, daydream. Then posting on social media channels. Wait for likes, put up prints at the store, wait for a sale.
It was alright for a while. Creating art was , in part, my spiritual alchemy. It gave me a chance to concretise the vibrations flowing in me, to externalise then stare at, to absorb and settle down with the energies created from the process of creation.
To me, every completed work, big or small, hummed with some kind of otherworldly power. Some pieces more so than others. When i finished a work, a part of me was completed, then onto the next work, which sometimes took minutes, days, weeks, even months to finish. Sometimes i would lose all feeling for visual art, i would move to writing, or create music if i was in that cycle. I came to learn my cycles, but every process, every project had the same end goal.
Completion of a phase, refinement of a part of my soul, fine tuning my inner world, expanding my energy field, scratching a creative itch, expressing a weird, random slice of bizarre inner life.
People responded, laughed, hit ‘like’, occasionally bought a piece they really loved. Then, to the next post and the next and the next, ad infinitum. I was getting a bit tired of the repetition. I needed to go beyond. To up the stakes. To connect more with the outside world. I needed to consolidate my purpose, build something that bridged artist and audience. A website, Facebook post, instagram feed wasn’t really enough. It was more digital, virtual than physical. It could all go away with a delete button, computer failure, or an inter web meltdown.
True, I had physical pieces of paintings and artwork with me, in my room, but thats the thing. It got stuck in my room. It wasn’t reaching out, entering lives, handled by hands other than my own. They needed the focus of other eyes, to be looked upon in order to exist deeper in the universe. I wanted to the world to go tactile with my ‘artefacts.’
Patreon is that chance, that gateway. It will focus my production. i wouldn’t just turn off the computer and leave my work to float and get lost in the avalanche of data. It’s easy for creations to slip into that kind of dissolution in the digital realm. I needed a degree of obligation and contact. I needed a small amount of responsibility, a position where i had to honour some kind of agreement, between my creative self and an other who feels connected enough to my work to support it in a way practical for me. It’s more purposeful than simply broadcasting my creations.
There’s a different kind of magnetism at work when there are patrons. Something more will be expected of me, I will expect something more form myself, to push myself to evolve beyond the comfort of my man cave. And that, in turn, can fuel my focus, my willpower, my desire to create above and beyond my current creative state.
All or nothing.
I am writing this, currently with my first patron in the bag. Already, it has excited me. It makes me want to further explore better printing options, higher quality productions. My heart and mind is flooding with possibilities, images, sets, sounds, words. It’s giving meaning to my birthday month, to the number nine, to the work on myself through my art, for humanity.
I’m writing this in order to start exposing sides of myself to the world to activate an audience – the catalyst – to trigger some kind of chemical-electric reaction, to push my alchemical process to the next, transformative stage.
All or nothing.
The cyclic spiral begins again.
_ Paul, September 01, 2016.