toys on fire in sink
why can’t the teddy bear breathe?
shredded pieces of paper , rolled into cigarette
smoke and choke
emulation of uncle, failed.

On the couch
behind mommy’s friend
innocent hands
in short pants

I stripped Barbie naked
tied her up
twisted her head

scissors, suspended from ceiling
cloth that hung the blade, burning
I’m squirming
on the master bed,
waiting, pretending,
the hardcover cookbook on my belly will save me
(I should not die when no one’s home)
The instrument falls.

locked in cupboard with tape on lips
(I don’t know if she touched me)
much later, much older
she laughs at my dancing cock
(look sis, no hands)
I still keep her porno mags.

conscience questions memory:

“You found panties with blood stains then put it in pocket.”

“you stole chewing gum?”


“did you steal ladies undergarments?”

“did you try to cause accidents by throwing ice at passing vehicles from your block?”

A pet dogs’ tongue can do many things.
Father threw my dead hamster down the chute.
I trapped a goldfish with clothes peg
watched it gasp for breath
it floats differently at death

“do you feel guilty?”




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